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Game 50 B A T Toilet Training

Written by Aperama

Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally Ambiguous Adventure Persons Journal #1: Its hard to be positive about being a B.A.T. operative. The pay is lousy and mostly goes towards food and drink – hell, they didnt even land me here on Selenia with any ammo – they barely give you any idea of what youre ready to face.. and theyre so devoted to secrecy that I had to have my debriefing meeting with a strange guy in a toilet. Oh, and its not until NOW that they tell me the planet Im on is going to blow up in ten days! Naturally, they didnt give me enough to fly back out of this rock.. guess its time to start pumping people for clues. Watch out Terrapolis, here I come!

Ive ended up with a character thats pretty well even across the board who specialises in conversations (not to mention electronics and stealing). Looks like your average adventure gamer to me!

B.A.T. is not a game that I think I will ever – or could ever – love. Its already managed to annoy me with its interface rather heavily (in a rather short play session, might I add) by being extremely inconsistent. If you click on the screen when it has the standard cursor (which according to the manual is the falcons eye, the symbol of B.A.T.) it brings up B.O.B, the arm computer system. It looked to me at first that this was also the load/save option, though that was actually the pre-programming set thing that I couldnt wrap my head around in the manual on the first glance. Anyhow, in and of itself this is straight forward. Unfortunately, it doesnt work quite that way. It can appear/not appear at seemingly random, with the conversation icon sometimes coming even in the sky or the ground. Utterly maddening. Not being able to reliably bring up what is essentially the main interface is simply ridiculous. The combat interface is utterly ridiculous, being even less tactical than the previous game Elvira was. Unless Im missing something, it consists of selecting a weapon and clicking like a madman until the other person dies (or you do.) Uuuugggghhh.

All because the geniuses in B.A.T. didnt even give me ammo to go with my guns on introducing me to the city. Not so much as a robotic sausage. Life.. dont talk to me about life..

Anyhow. I decided to focus more getting a feel for the interface in this post as opposed to trying to make big storyline leaps (given only two of you are going to read these posts anyway, I cant emphasise enough just how painful the interface really is.) The B.O.B. screen is definitely interesting, admittedly. From what I understand, its possible to set up a few things through it, for instance having it automatically translate robot or alien when youre conversing with one of those – but I really dont see the purpose behind doing so. It feels like Id be spending longer messing around with the interface than I would really be comfortable with. As is, its quite annoying that I have to do the manual translations, even though it seems that the majority of the species Im encountering are either human or alien – it feels a lot like Im having my gameplay stretched out. I really dont want to have gameplay stretched out. (Im really depending on the French gods of gaming to have pity on me at this point!)

I find myself wondering if these screens will give me any sort of warning that Im about to starve to death without having to constantly click on them, as Im utterly sure I wont remember to look..

Anyhow, I do suppose what little Ive played through should be explained. On landing in the spaceport and messing around with the interface for about ten minutes before even finding the area I was due to enter, I went to the unirace restrooms (although, as the game says, they are equipped for all types of anatomies, theyre not very pleasant), I spoke to a police officer who gave me a few clues. Apparently, Vrangor (evil genius extraordinaire) has access to some very strange places, to find Merigo, I should try the seedier parts of town, and when I asked him of the city, the only access to the engines is in the old building. I can only imagine this is him suggesting that the engines are a weak point to be targeted by bombs? Im not even completely certain what the engines are for, given Terrapolis is supposedly a city built on a plateau in the largely arid Selenia. Anyhow, in going to the slightly ajar restroom stall, our local contact (complete with his B.A.T. pin badge on the right hand side of his coat) gives a quick monologue/summary of what the manual and back cover have already told us. Vrangor is crazy. Selenia is strategically important to the Earth, as it has large quantities of raw materials, and Vrangor is threatening to blow the city of Terrapolis if all of Earths interests dont leave it within ten days. While Vrangor has hidden his tracks well, Merigo has been located entering the planet via an ecg wave (his brainwaves, Im guessing) and as such, were loaded up with some guns, five hundred Krells (the local currency), a credit chit with 1000 Krells on it, and a hologram of Merigo to show to whoever might have seen him. Neat!

Sweet, equipment! Now why couldnt we have met somewhere OTHER than a toilet stall? Working here really is the.. well, you know.

Heres probably a good point to mention that the inventory system is legitimately horrible. Each item is listed singularly, and the only selection is made with a NEXT button, meaning that if my inventory should bloat, itll be quite difficult to work out what Ive got exactly. So, Ive been given two weapons (a hacker, a weapon that shoots several thousands of missiles simultaneously, and a Haas 10 which is a pistol-like missile launcher with heat-seekers and dumb-launchers) – but no ammo for either. Luckily, I dont plan to spend much of this game shooting if I can help it, as the combat is really that bad. (And yes, this is a homemade video by yours truly, but this is first chance to plug the Adventure Gamer YouTube channel, which will no doubt see occasional uses from the writers around. Also note the way I find someone to talk to (and shoot at) – its literally random as to whether or not you manage a hit. I also left the full DosBOX screen up to make it clear – combat is that fast even at 3000 cycles.) From the spaceport, we end up in a random sort of travel lounge place, I imagine its supposed to be – theres a vending machine to buy some food along with a club, so this is essentially the Duty Free area of the spaceport. Apparently, the club (or pub as the game calls it in spite of it having the word CLUB written in the staircase leading to it) has a reputation for being one of the shadiest places in town. A number of visitors have been found dead, too! Oh no!

Whats with that little E.T. looking thing?

I still dont fully understand this. The little screen you find in the corner requires a bribe for information on the city for no apparent reason, though you can just leave, with a picture of what looks like a gun poking towards you.. but it has no payoff aside from this thinly veiled threat.

Given that the Space Pub/Club/Bar/Place To Imbibe Overpriced Drinks was largely a bust (unless I was missing something important in there and just couldnt work it out from the interface), the next screen is Astroport Square, a place that is teeming with people. Its pretty much what youd expect coming out of an airp-- er, spaceport – overpriced hotels, overpriced fast food. Again, the place seems largely to be useless, though it does serve its function of leaving a place to keep your B.A.T. agent healthy. Im imagining that one of the meters on the B.O.B. unit (getting so sick of these acronyms) is indicative of how much rest youve managed to give to them, with drink and calories being the other key health indicators. Still, Im not going to worry about it until its needed – so after buying a Dish of the Day special at the Mecafood Center™, its on to more interesting places..

The hot quarter, Im assuming, is like the Red Light district

However, the central junction has a gun shop

Just for the record, here. I selected the Hacker, which has AG-1080 charges. I had to double check, as this read awfully like A610-80 to me in that font..

So, after having ammunition to go along with my willingness to pump people for information and steal from them recklessly (as is the true adventure gamers way), I went on a spree of information gathering. A skunk (essentially, a human street punk) told me that someone near the park mentioned Vrangor, and one Crisa Kortakis has a lot of influence here on Terrapolis. (A Glockmup, a traveler native to MIGA, not very intelligent but very proud, often destined to carry out dirty jobs and often used as assassins or robbers as theyre 9 foot tall, mentioned that influence and money were going to be my best way to make my way around Terrapolis, so Im doubtless going to have to find her at some point.) Showing the hologram to a Kradokid (one of the races populating the planet Sabellius, resembling lizards with only one eye and extremely intelligent but very fraternal) has them suggesting they might have seen them on Tri-Dee – and any attempts to speak to a Stickrob (a robot that is slightly less intelligent than a human) is simply greeted with the note that they dont tend to care much about the goings on of humans.

Of course, I find them a lot more entertaining when theyre speaking through  what looks like the Galactic Standard Alphabet...

So, while Ive technically not gotten very far, I felt I had to end before the interface completely destroyed my brain. Still, I have a clear set of directions – Ive got to share my hologram of Merigo around as openly as I can manage and track him down. Even though the manual suggests that the Glo(c)kmup (in the manual its Glokmup, in the game a Glockmup) arent to be trusted, something tells me that the direct mention of Crisa Kortakis means that Im going to have to hunt them down, too. This game already feels like a chore, and I havent even gone past an hour of play yet.. I really hope that this picks up!

If only..

Session Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, Ive not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!